Own Your Power: The Inner Work Behind Outer Success

Season 6, Episode 6

Featured Guest: Laura Armstrong, CEO/Founder, Wealth Mastery Systems

What does it really mean to stand in your power? Laura Armstrong, CEO and founder of Wealth Mastery Systems and three-time world champion martial artist, unpacks how breaking through mindset traps and knowing your worth can help leaders take up space with confidence—in business, leadership and life.

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This episode is sponsored by Myrtle Beach Convention Center and Visit Irving Texas.

Listen to more Dare to Interrupt podcasts: www.MeetingsToday.com/Dare-to-Interrupt.

Meet Our Guest:

Laura Armstrong is a dynamic leader in the wealth mastery space, a Money Mindset Mentor and a three-time world champion martial artist. 

She empowers high-performing entrepreneurs, professionals and organizations to break free from financial limitations and achieve extraordinary success. Known for her bold clarity and compassionate guidance, Laura delivers high-impact presentations that inspire audiences to master their relationship with money, unlock their inner wealth champion and build sustainable wealth strategies. 

Her expertise in mindset coaching and communication mastery leaves every audience motivated and equipped to take bold steps toward financial freedom.

Connect With Laura:

LinkedIn
Instagram: @ldrshpwithlaura
Facebook
Website

More About Our Host:

Courtney believes that transforming past experiences into impactful conversations through raw, authentic storytelling challenges the status quo, connects people from all walks of life and results in great change for the world.

Courtney is the youngest member to have ever been elected to Meeting Professionals International’s (MPI) International Board of Directors.

She is the recipient of Smart Meetings’ Entrepreneur Award, MeetingsNet’s Changemaker Award, the Association for Women in Events (AWE) Disruptor Award, the MPI Chairman’s Award and MPI RISE Award.

Named Collaborate and Connect Magazine’s 40 under 40 and a Meetings Today Trendsetter.

Recognized as one of the event industry’s most impactful change-makers, Courtney serves on the Events Industry Sexual Harassment Task Force, AWE’s Board of Directors, MPI’s Women’s Advisory Board, is a Meetings Mean Business Ambassador and is the co-founder of the award-winning movement, #MeetingsToo.

Courtney was named as a 2020 Meetings Trendsetter by Meetings Today.

Connect With Courtney:

Website
LinkedIn
Instagram: @courtneyonstage
Twitter: @courtneyonstage
Facebook

Transcript:

Editors note: The following transcription was facilitated by AI program Otter.ai and proofed by our editors. Although it is very accurate, there inevitably will be some mistakes, so please consider that when reading. Thank you.

Courtney Stanley

Hello, everybody. This is Courtney Stanley, keynote speaker, public speaking coach and your host of Dare to Interrupt, the only podcast made by women for women in the world of events, hospitality, tourism and beyond. 

Today's guest is a powerhouse in every sense of the word. Laura Armstrong is the CEO and founder of Wealth Mastery Systems, a transformational platform helping high achieving leaders break through inter-nal limitations and step into a life of exceptional wealth and unstoppable confidence. 

She's not only a strategic business mind; she's also a three-time world champion martial artist who knows exactly what it takes to stand in your power. 

In this conversation, Laura and I dive into the mindset traps that hold even the most successful people back and what it really means to take up space in business, in leadership and in life. 

Welcome to the show, Laura, how are you?

Laura Armstrong

I'm great. I'm very excited to be here today. 

Courtney Stanley

I know that you and I always have great conversations, so I'm excited to see where today's conversation is going to go. I agree. 

Laura Armstrong

I couldn't agree more.

Courtney Stanley

And you're in Denver right now. What takes you to Colorado?

Laura Armstrong

Yeah, so I am the one of the alpha leaders for Achieve Systems, which is a business-building organiza-tion. So, I'm down here… they have a two-day university that helps people to 10x their business. So, I'm very excited to be here and help people do that.

Courtney Stanley

That's awesome. That's great. You do so many things, and I would love for the audience to learn a little bit more about the work that you do. I know that you are the CEO and founder of Wealth Mastery Sys-tems. Tell us a little bit more about your work.

Laura Armstrong 

Yeah, you know, it's interesting, because we all have our own path, right? And it's funny how we all get to the point where, what do I want to be when I grow up, no matter what industry you work in? And so, for me, I've come to this place where I work with people on scaling their wealth, getting them to own a little bit more of who they are and how much they deserve. 

So, basically, they have a more powerful and positive relationship with money. They elevate their reve-nue fast, they make the impact they're looking for, and then, like I said, earn what they deserve.

And I think that that's got a whole thing attached to it in so many different ways. So, I do that, and I also teach a lot of self-defense and empowerment, and I am a three-time world champion martial artist, so that's important to me to spread the word about that. And I also do work as the president of Achieve Canada, a business-building organization that helps entrepreneurs step into their power and build their referral networks.

Courtney Stanley

In short, you are a badass. I feel like that's the underlying reward. Here you are. You are a badass. You've done so many cool things, and I love the way that you started to explain what you do, where you believe that what we deserve, that we should earn or have is directly related to our wealth. 

Can you tell us a little bit more about that?

Laura Armstrong

Sure. Well, wealth doesn't always mean money, right? And so, I think that there's sometimes a miscon-ception, like, I have people approach me and they're like, “Oh, well, I don't need any financial help.” I'm like, “No, that's not what I do.” And I'm like, “What do you deserve?” Like, right? 

And so, when we talk about that number, the first thing when I start to work with people, I was like, “What's your level of deserve? Write that number down.” And they're like, “What does that mean?” And it's like, okay, if you think about it this way, how much money have you put into your training, your educa-tion, your courses, your learning, your groups, the organizations that you belong to? Whether you're working corporate or not, there's those things that are still all there. And how many years? Add those up and then divide it all. What would your worth be in an hour, right? 

And so, if we think about estimating that number, the actual number is far higher a lot of the time than what people think they actually deserve. And deserving is knowing what your worth is and asking for it. And so, having people step into “Do you think Angelina Jolie has a problem saying, if you want me to make that film, it's going to cost you $300 million?”

Courtney Stanley

Probably not, because she knows she's a kick-ass actress, and she deserves it, right? And so, it's like, how do people get to that point where they deserve that? And those are the things that we work on, that I work on when I work with people. Just one of the things, yeah, where do we start with that? And I appre-ciate that you clarified and said that.

Laura Armstrong

It is not just monetary; it's many other things in life. Where do we begin? 

So, you talked about associating a number with your worth or what you deserve. Where else do we go from here? Yeah, so when I talk with people, it's always about the present first, like, where are you in your business? You know, what are you making? What do you think you should be making? What do you offer, whether it's an entrepreneur? 

So, if they're an entrepreneur, what do you offer for your packages, whether it's in corporate it's like, what are you offering in your role, right? And so, it doesn't, it doesn't matter what you know whether they work in…so what is it? What is the number one struggle that—and I don't really like that word struggle. I think, what is the number-one thing you would like more of in that role or in your business that would you feel would get you to the next level? What is the biggest thing holding you back?

And some people—I've never had anybody say I don't know, cuz they know, right? And so, sometimes even saying that out loud is just really an opportunity to start the ball rolling to where they can actually start to gain some momentum about how to change things. And so, when I talk to people, it's always a very—you need to first of all hold the container for people. And you and I have talked about this. So, what are the agreements that we have when we get on a call? 

Well, first of all, there's going to be trust, non-judgment, all the basic things that will actually allow the conversation to be as authentic as possible. And so, bringing them into the present moment of where they are, and recognizing having the awareness around those things is the first thing. 

And then I bring people into the future. And the future is, what does your vision look like for your business and yourself? Cuz they're connected, right? And that leads back to their why. Now, your why is made up of two things: your purpose and your drive. Most people know their purpose. Most people don't know their drive. What is the difference between the two? 

So, the purpose is, this aligns with who I am. At the core of me the drive is why it gets you out of bed in the morning.

Courtney Stanley

Oh, right, wow. Okay, okay, so if somebody's struggling with their drive, they feel like they've chosen the right path, and it aligns with what they want to be building, but they're struggling with drive. How would you advise them? 

So, then we move into the past and we start asking questions. Well, if you could change one thing in your past, what would it be? And what you're going to do is find out why their drive is kiboshed. They will tell you exactly why, and they will tell you exactly where you just have to ask the right questions. And so, if there's one thing you could change in the past, and when did that happen, and what happened, right? And they know, they always get the people who are like, “Well, I don't know.” I'm like, “Well, if you could know, what would you know, right?” And then that opens the possibility up for them, and so bringing them to that place where, like, “Oh, that's it.”

And then some of the questions are as simple as, if you don't do this now, what will happen? So, what happens Courtney, is they come to the conclusion by themselves, with you as the guiding light to say I need to fix this, right? And then all of a sudden, as we go through, my last question to them is, is it okay to stay where you are, right? And I've only had one woman say yes, and I'm like, “You're not ready, so it's okay keep going. Let me know when you're ready, right?” There's never a judgment, right?

Everybody is where they are, but if you're ready to move, the answer will be no, because you're not ready, you're not willing to stay there any longer, and that's where they start to develop their drive.

Courtney Stanley

So, going back to the idea that we essentially earn what we believe that we deserve. There must be some limiting self-beliefs that are happening here. Why do you think limiting self-beliefs have such a strong grip on so many of us, even though we may logically know or recognize that they're not true”

Having gone through so much of that kind of stuff myself, I feel that

Laura Armstrong

It starts, you know, we're so influenced from the age of zero to like, eight or nine, right? Our whole world is our parents or the people around us, because they give us our values. You develop your own values, but at that age, you depend on them for everything. And I feel like it's the past that ties us to things, be-cause we feel that that is not something we could change, because that's what we've been told, right? And realizing that, and you know, like, it took me till—I was like, I'm 58 now, I was 52 when I realized my parents weren't great parents, right? And that was very freeing for me because I didn't have to keep ex-cusing them. I didn't have to think, “Oh, they're going to change.” They just weren't good parents. 

And so, I turned out pretty awesome in spite of them, right? Even though I'm not saying they were horri-ble, they just didn't give me what I needed. But, I didn't have that realization till I was 53 or 52, right? So, I feel a lot of the time what holds us to our limiting beliefs are the fact that we have to hold on to the past of who we were at that younger age, and the belief when it originally started, or when it was originally imposed upon us, and we decided to take it on as our own, because that's our job, as good sons and daughters, is to follow what our parents give us. They're our guiding light, and that is their job.

And the other thing to remember here is they are literally doing the best they can. There is no rule book about parenting, right? I mean, there is, but like, really, you're just trying to figure it out, right? 

So, it's hard to remain judgmental about that when you realize they were just doing their best. But this is the beauty. You can change it for yourself. You don't have to keep it. And so, the limiting belief just be-comes a temporary thing that can be removed.

Courtney Stanley

What was the greatest, or the biggest, limiting belief that you had that you recognized during this process and wanted to release?

Laura Armstrong

Oh gosh, there were a few. So, my worth was the first, and that's not just on a monetary level, because when I grew up in that martial arts world as well as the corporate world, I needed to fit in with the men, and that was my worth with them, even though it was toxic. That was my worth in the martial arts world; I had to be tougher, harder, better, faster, stronger than the men, because that was my worth, according to them. What I didn't realize was it wasn't my worth, according to me.

So, once I started having these realizations and moving from those areas into me and my own power, nobody liked it, which told me I was on the right path, because it just wasn't their plan anymore. It was my plan, and I ruffled a lot of feathers, so that also told me I was on the right path, and it was when I started to step into my own power and take back from others. And I always was very powerful, but I real-ized how much I had given away right when I started having that, and all of a sudden, those voices didn't seem to mean anything, and they got less and less and less. And then those people actually started coming to me for like, “How can you do this? Can you help me with this?” And I thought this is really interesting. 

They want to step into their own power, because they realize the way they've been acting isn't serving them, not necessarily those particular people, but in that same context, right? And so, I always feel that no matter where people come from, they're always looking for something, even if they in the past, haven't acted with the best of intentions, right, there can always be that growth.

But I don't let toxic people into my space. I set good boundaries around it. If those people are willing to come in based on my terms and the things that I think that they need and work with me, then we're good. If not no. I've said no to a lot of clients, and there's so much power in the power of no, especially for women. And we don't access it enough. I mean, we could do a whole thing on that. That's a whole other conversation, very important conversation.

Courtney Stanley

You're speaking to an audience that has definitely voiced over the years that boundaries are difficult to maintain and to set. Initially, I have two questions for you, and they go hand in hand. How might some-body recognize that they're giving their power away, and if they do recognize that they're giving their power away. How do they take it back?

Laura Armstrong

Yeah, so the first one you already know, so don't act like you don't know. You know it doesn't feel good to you. And so, stop ignoring that voice, would be my advice to you. And no matter how complicated it can feel for you, if I start listening to that, then people are going to look at me differently. They're going to judge me. I'm going to have…all these bad things are going to happen. 

Actually, that's a lie you've been telling yourself for a very long time. So, it's time to rewrite the script on that if I don't feel good about something, I'm going to change it because I'm number one. And so, I just had this conversation with my husband, and my husband is going through this piece of growth in his life, and he wants me to solve his problem for him. He's like, I really need your advice on what I should do. I said, “Honey, I can't give you that advice. First of all, you don't hear me because I'm your wife, like that's the number one, ladies, we all know that, right? And secondly, it's, I said, “This is not my path for to give you the answers; you need to go figure out what your answer is for yourself, right? 

And so, to step in your own power. You already know if something doesn't feel good to you, but what you may be doing, and there's no judgment around this, is tamping it down. Oh no, it's going to be okay. It's all going to work out. It's not stop lying to yourself, right? 

I'm just being straight here. You're going to be far more powerful, and you want to step in your own power by owning that voice and knowing that you're going to step out there. And I'm telling you, it's not easy at first, people are going to be like, “What happened with her or him? They're different now, right? And they said they were going to do this, and now they're not going to do it.” 

So, they're not following through on their promises, right? No, they're not, because it doesn't feel good, and I'm not doing it. And if you're really my friend, you're going to respect that, and you're going to sup-port me. This is where you will find out who the gems in your life are, and this is how you can create the diamonds in your life that will turn you into a diamond, right, and level up. And this is when it will happen, and when you step back in your own power, you'll stop caring what people say, all the pettiness, the drama, the trauma, it won't matter. You will have enough emotional intelligence at that point to look at those people and realize they're still struggling with things that have nothing to do with you. 

There are 8 billion people on this planet, if someone doesn't like you, you only need 10,000 people in your life. If someone doesn't like you, got another 7,999,990,000. It's okay, right? So, to step back in your power, it can be at first, challenging, but it's like a habit. You learn it and you own it right when you start to drive a new car; that new car smell eventually fades away, and that car becomes your own.

Courtney Stanley

It's the same thing. I love that analogy. And in thinking about really becoming who you are meant to be, and stepping away from toxic relationships, toxic people, situations that don't serve you well, situations where you do feel like your power is maybe you're giving it away.

Many people, I think, struggle with the idea of feeling like they're too much or they're taking up too much space. What advice would you give for people who are maybe feeling like they can't be themselves, be-cause it's too much to reframe that mindset and to really own who they are and own their voice in those spaces.

Laura Armstrong

Yeah, it's one simple thing. You're hanging out with the wrong crowd, so leave.

Find your people, because those people aren't your crowd…You'll find the people who…and it's an op-portunity, like, think of it that way. It's the opportunity to find the people that resonate with you. And while you're transitioning, you may feel like you're alone, but you're actually not. You're just figuring out more about who you are and what really resonates. So, if you’re being big in that space. Maybe I should tamp it down a little or it doesn't feel good to me. Then do that because it doesn't feel good to you. But don't do it because you feel like you're too much out there, people are judging you, or like, oh, you're too loud. Well, if you're too loud, then you're in the wrong room.

Courtney Stanley

Right? Go into the room with the people who are up here and be here, and so that you can become up here. And then when you outgrow that room, which will happen, you'll go into the next room. So, there will always be a room you can go into. 
So, don't stay in the room. That's the gold fish bowl that's already full of fish you need to be into, like the aquarium tank that's massive, and then the ocean, right? Like, that's really it. 

What I've discovered throughout the years is that as I've removed the wrong people from my life, or as I've removed myself from spaces that don't serve me, that the universe rewards me with that next level.

It's so interesting to watch what happens when you create that space for a different type of relationship or for a different type of opportunity, and what comes your way almost immediately when you release what's not meant for you.

Laura Armstrong

Yeah, I love that, you know, and it's that whole thing about limiting beliefs that I was talking about. When you release those limiting beliefs and you decide to rewrite the script, everything can happen.

And I've seen it with my clients; all of a sudden, they call me up and they're stressed out. Everything's changing. It's shitty, it's this and that. I'm like, “Oh, so you're starting to have change. That's great”. They're like, “What do you mean?” I'm like, “You're letting go, and this is what happens. Now we're just going to direct a little bit more how it happens so we can have the things that you wanted, right? But don't stop that flow.”

You need the flow, right? So, it's kind of like you crack the door open just a little bit to see what's there, and you like it. So, now I'm going to pull the door open a little bit more. Mm, hmm,

Courtney Stanley

Absolutely. Laura. I want to talk about the fact that you are this three-time world-champion martial artist, and that you teach self-defense, because I think that's super cool. 

How did you get into that world? Where did that start?

Laura Armstrong

You know, it's so funny, because I was really lucky. My parents never held me back that way. It was al-ways like, “Go, be there and be as awesome as you can,” and I always love being physical, but I was always the fat kid in school, like I was always overweight, and I realized later it was because my parents were divorced at a very young age, and I had received massive trauma from my real father that I didn't find out about until I was in my early ’40s, and I realized that I put on weight to protect myself. But you don't learn these things till you know, maybe sometimes much later, when the body and brain and the conscious and subconscious are willing to bring it to the surface so that your body doesn't go into fight or flight or freeze, so that you can process right?

And so, it's really interesting, because regardless of being the overweight kid in school, I always love to be physical. I love to go on camping trips. I did soccer, I did all the stuff—I didn't care. 

And so, after high school—I didn't go to college or university—the idea of sitting in front of books for four years was like my biggest nightmare, because I was high action and I wanted to be out there living my life and experiencing everything I could to the maximum. 

So, I got a job, and then what I did is I got involved in and started doing a lot of weightlifting training, and I competed in powerlifting and bodybuilding at a provincial level in Canada, and I won my divisions, and I was scouted for the IFBB and so, you know, international powerlifting organizations. But what they all said to me, and I was at the age of 19/20, they said, look, you've got the genetics, you got the strength, but you're going to have to take the drugs. 

And so, at that time, drugs meant the steroids, the heavy duty. This is like 40 years ago, right? When all this stuff was not as regulated, and, you know, they were all experimenting with stuff at that point, right?

Some of these women I would see would be growing an extra brow here, or, you know, their chest would disappear; they said, “Well, it's just the truth. We're just being upfront with you. You can be a world champion, but this is what you're going to have to do. And I said, “Well, thank you, but no thank you.”

And so, I decided that was my path, and I was going to change that. And so, what I decided then was I took one of those continuing education courses, you know, like the evening things you could take, and it's like, once a week for six weeks. 

So, I joined an aikido one—I always love martial arts. So, I was like, “Oh yeah, I get to learn martial arts, Bruce Lee and all that.” And so, I go to this class. And then, my teacher is, like, this woman, she's four foot tall, right? And she was my teacher for 30 years. And so, we do the class and we're doing all the roll-ing and the stances and the, you know, the boring stuff, right? So. she's like, “Are there any questions at the end of class? And of course, my hand goes up, and I'm like, yeah, when are we getting to the kicking and punching?” Because that's like, why I'm here, right? And so, she starts laughing, and you can see her, like, internally, rolling her eyes, going, “Oh my God, not another one, right?”

So she goes, “Well….about the art of self-defense and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…” I'm like, “Well, that sounds boring, but I showed up next week and the week after and the week after and the term after and the term after, and at that time you had to be invited to someone's dojo. You could not just join and so it took me four terms before she invited me to join her school, and there were very few students. 
So, I began teaching at a very young age in my career, and so, I've been teaching since I was in my early 20s, which is practically unheard of in that area, unless you've been working at it since you were a kid.

And so, after a couple of years, I had someone come into one of my other martial arts. I took a few; I took hapkido as well, and I got to blue belt in that or something. And this guy came in and I wanted to leave that club. I was still with my Aikido Club, which I loved, and this man was the instructor was sexually har-assing me—comments and wanting to go on a date. And like, This man was way older than me. It was like, in his late 40s, right? And like, and I would just like, I wanted to leave the class, because it was very uncomfortable. Eventually, he got reported and was charged, which was really good to hear. But this guy came in to do a demo, and he started demoing, like weapons. I was like, “Oh, now we're talking.” He went to take his class and I ended up joining. And he was my first coach. I was with him for 11 years, and then I left because he did some horrible stuff to us, took our money, all that kind of stuff. That's a whole story.

And then I just started competing from there. And that fed that side of me, whereas the aikido fed more the self-growth side. So, they actually complemented each other, because I actually had to step off the mat from my Aikido. After 35 years, I was almost at my fifth in which in Aikido was pretty high rank, and I realized the day I had stepped off the mat. It took me about a week, that I was still practicing Aikido in my everyday life. I was still stepping off the line, I was still deescalating. I was still redirecting people's ener-gy. And as a holistic practitioner, it was all part of the same thing, and then I could let it go like fully.

And so, I always stepped into my competition side, but I always had that piece to add to it that gave me that extra little extra, right? So, that was always kind of how things started to evolve for me in the martial arts world. There’s so many stories that I would love to dig into, because there's just so much here.

Courtney Stanley

But one thing comes to mind, obviously, this is an audio conversation, so we can't necessarily demon-strate anything, but when it comes to self-defense, I think it's safe to assume that most people that are listening have not trained in self-defense before. Maybe somebody has taken a class once, you know, 10 years ago, but most people haven't actually trained. Is there anything that you could share that would be helpful with people who are tuning in to think about in terms of being able to defend themselves in the everyday, in a grocery store parking lot, wherever you are.

Laura Armstrong

Yeah, for sure, I can give you five reasons. There are principles. Think, yell, run, fight, tell. Think is mak-ing a plan, having the awareness of what's going on around you, making a plan and tapping into your in-tuition.

Yell is being able to use your voice in whatever capacity to create the boundaries you need to feel safe, whether it's safe distance—someone's attacking, whatever it is; yelling does three things. It brings ear witnesses, it allows you to breathe and it gives you power. Okay.

The next one is run. Run—my number one option, if I can get out of there, I'm out of there.

Okay, fight. Fight for your life. If it needs to get there, then it will. I will do whatever it takes. Use the sharp things on your body, use your elbows, pick them in the shin, poke them in the eyes, grab their groin, whatever you need to do to fight, to survive and get out of there. 

And the last and most important one would be tell—do not keep it to yourself. You push that down, you're going to have problems later. Tell a trusted source, and if that source blows it off, like, “Oh, you deserved it, or, I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, it's no big deal.” You go find another one, because that's not your trusted source. 

So, make sure, excuse me, that you have a tell and that you go and tell. Mm, hmm, those would be the five things that I would give you. You stick to those five, you're going to have some good boundaries in self-defense.

Courtney Stanley

Yeah, yeah, thank you so much, because I feel like you were able to summarize that so easily and so quickly, and at least, you know, two or three of them will be easy for people to remember. 
With all of the training that you have done and all of the power that you've built physically in your body over the years, have you ever been in a situation where you have had to practice these things because you were attacked or assaulted by somebody”

Laura Armstrong 

Oh, yeah, several times—lots and lots of times. We do it actually in our everyday life, and we don't real-ize it. And a lot of it's verbal. A lot of it, I mean, I've had physical and verbal altercations, but a lot of it is the tone of your voice, the intention, your intention, if your head is down or you're not looking at someone clearly, and you're saying, “Stop that, or I don't like that…” It's like, “Stop that. I don't like when you do this.” 

So, the clarity of being clear about what you want from someone has to be the most important thing you give them; mixed messages are where problems happen.

And having been in so many physical, you know, altercations, I do have skills. I didn't always have skills. But I'll tell you this, we teach a basic sequence of, you know, heel, thumb to the face, knee, knee.

Knee to the groin, knee to the head. I'll give you some stats here: one in three women are assaulted. It's a horrible fact; it's a horrible stat. 79% of those assaults are by men. 89% of those assaults by men or by someone they know.

Courtney Stanley

So, you having boundaries around things is usually going to be enough—using your voice—but if it's not, go out and get the skills you need, take a basic workshop. And it doesn't necessarily have to be about grabs. It could be about using your voice. Doing the simple strikes, using the pieces on your body that can keep you safe, right? And so, each altercation could be a what if, but the way I dealt with some of the things that I did, I probably escalated too fast, and a lot of them because that was my default before I knew any better. And as a society, that's what we generally do. 

Teaching de-escalation is a different way of thinking in our lives, because it allows us to bring ourselves down. Our cortisol down allows us to calm us and not stay in an adrenalized state, and that's where we tend to freeze, and that's not a good state to be in. 
Okay, how would you guide somebody through de-escalation?

Laura Armstrong 

So first, the first thing is to listen. So, what is the person really saying to you? We have seven different tactics we use. And so, one could be something as simple as someone coming in hot, matching their voice, and just bringing your voice down; they'll mirror you. It's as simple as that. 

When you have your hands up, it's not out here, like, which is aggressive, but it's like, I don't want any trouble. This is something that is not going to generate a reaction, right? So, listening to people is the number one thing; hearing what they're saying if someone has an interview. 

So, let me preface this. Attackers only want two things from you. They want to create privacy and control. That's all they need to have an altercation. So, if you take both of those things away from them, they cannot do it. Do you think that you could have privacy in a concert with a million people?

Yes, you can, because if someone comes up and grabs you, how many people are going to see that? Not many. Because everybody's jammed together, they've just created privacy. It could be in the work-place with people around. It could be a microaggression. There could be all sorts of places. 

And so, learning de-escalation, or using to your observed voice and bringing ear witnesses to it, is a great way for people. So, you take away their privacy, you take away their control, okay? And those are the two main things that you need to do, because we have a lot of perceived helplessness, perceived authority, especially in corporate—there's a lot of perceived authority. And those things are not always real, but they're used as control techniques. 

So, if we can use our boundary setting and the five principles I gave you, you can take back control of that and step into your own power and create the own the boundaries that's that are best for you. 

So, that answers your question.

Courtney Stanley

It definitely does answer the question. And I think a lot of what you said will be relatable to quite a few people who are tuning in, because there have been many situations that people have been put in, especially, you know, working in the live events industry, where things happen left and right, whether it's with, you know, a guest at an event, or it's with a client at an event. 

So, I do think that this is really helpful information to have. I want to marry the two conversations that we've had today. So, one is really your business acumen and wealth mastery, and the other is this train-ing, this self-defense training, being a world champion. 

How do you think that your training has shaped the way that you lead in your business and the way that you teach empowerment?

Laura Armstrong 

You know it really comes down to support, and so, it's too hard to do things on our own, and I think I told you the story of me winning my first gold medal, and I can tell that briefly, if you'd like me to. 

So, I trained for many years as a world champion— sorry, on an international level—but I would always win silver, bronze, silver, bronze, silver, bronze, and I've been to four world championships that happen every two years. So, I'm going to my fifth one, and this is almost 10 years now, and I get there with the team, Team Canada, and we're there at the competition, and all of a sudden, the bomb drops. My teacher has stolen our money, we find out. So, we have no money. We're across the world in Manila, Philippines, and he leaves. He's not coaching us anymore. And so, we all get together. And of course, you know, I'm like, the number one troublemaker. I'm like, “Okay, everybody, what are we going to do? Are we going to DQ, which would be disqualified? We go home, we don't compete, or are we going to go for all going to go home with gold, because I'm tired of this. I want to win.” And they're like, “We want to win.” 

So, we go out to our respective matches and then we go through the day, and I'm in the gold medal round. This is the fifth time I've been here, okay? And I just decide, this is it. And I look across, and there's my team cheering me on—“you got this, Laura, this is going to be it. Blah, blah, blah.” 

And the whistle blows, and we go through the first two rounds. And if you know anything about this, it's full context, so it's full out, and it's only one-minute rounds, but it's the longest minute of your life, cuz you gotta have gas in the tank, right? I probably had about 18 fights at this time, right? 

So, we get to the third round and I'm tired. I'm really tired. I don't have anything left in the tank, or I think I don't, and the round starts, and I look over and I realize that my opponent is more tired than I am, and I look across at the team, and they cheer me on. And, I don't know what happened, but I pulled everything from them, and I re energized myself, and I went after my opponent, and I went through that third round—longest minute of my life. The whistle blows, and the ref is holding our hands, and we're waiting for the scores to come in, and my hand goes up, and it's like “world champion winner!” 

And I just stood there. I was frozen. I couldn't even feel anything, because it had been so long, I had been waiting for this moment to happen. And I look across and there is my team, and I start to cry, and I always get emotional when I think about this, and they start to cry. 

So, everybody's crying, right? And I'm just like—I couldn't have done it without them. And so, what I real-ized was in our business and in our life, and incorporate in whatever we do, if we do not have the support we need to scale our business or to level up as human beings, it's too hard to do it on your own. So, that is how I married the two of them together. I want to give people the support they need to live the best life they can live in their business and in their life, because without that, they're just separate things that are floating around in space, and they're great, but you're not going to make any traction. And we all want traction. We all want impact. And especially when you're in the events industry, you want the best event to happen, right? You need the best team behind you.

So, you need to make sure that you're leaning on those people that are across the ring from you, and they've got your back. And that would be how I would marry those two together.

Courtney Stanley

Oh, I love that so much. And I think everybody has such purpose in all of the life experiences that you have, and it is really such a domino effect where one thing happens and it leads to a different type of growth, or a different path that you choose if you're willing to lead into it and lead into that growth. 

So, I love the full circle story that you have here, and you've done so many things, but they're all married together, and they all come back to this theme of a being a badass, but being fully empowered to live a fully empowered life. And I just think that's so beautiful. 

I want to give you an opportunity to share any final words of wisdom or a piece of advice that you want to leave the audience with today.

Laura Armstrong 

Yeah, you know, I would say these things to you. First of all, you are enough. No matter what anybody says, own your power, stand in your own power and take it back from others. I always say this, because once you do, you can start to move, and you can start to move in a powerful way, and I want that for all of you.

Courtney Stanley

Thank you so much, Laura, that was a great note to end on, and I appreciate you sharing your story with us today, and audience, of course, thank you all for tuning in. 

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Own Your Power. Know that you are unstoppable and keep daring to interrupt my friends. Until next time…